the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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