Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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