high people should be assigned attendants
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
