Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize