you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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