awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
