If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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