Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sponge bath it is.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
