Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
