i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
