i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
