I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
