he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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