literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
