Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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