Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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