I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
