Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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(850): View more from Florida

I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

(847): View more from Illinois

Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!

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(530): View more from California

Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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(707): View more from California

someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.

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(587): View more from Alberta

Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.

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(520): View more from Arizona

That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.

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(903): View more from Texas

He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him

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