she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
