Pappa wants mamma naked
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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