Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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