if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
