I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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