i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The Olympian is in my bed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
