i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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