New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
