Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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