I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
