Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
