erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
