She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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