did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
