I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
