Everything about him screamed your future.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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