Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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