i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
