you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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