Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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