Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
