Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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