have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
