so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
