I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
