Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
