the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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