Your tits are I can't wait for
I CAN MOONWALK!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
