this beer tastes like vomit already
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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