She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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