so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
