Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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