im drinking this country out of the recession.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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