why didn't you poke me back
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
