It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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