some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
