Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
