I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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