We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
