someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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