So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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