He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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