It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
