Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
