You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
