New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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