Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
