im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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