So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
