I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
