try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
