I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
