You're completely useless in the revolution.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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