Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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